Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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