In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
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