Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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