Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize