im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
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