There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize