real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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