im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
birth control should be required to get into college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize