But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
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