She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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