There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize