Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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