Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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