If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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