after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
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She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
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...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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