Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
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She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
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I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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