There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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