Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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