I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
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Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
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You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize