I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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