Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam

(212): View more from New York

enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening

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(610): how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam (212): enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening http://tfl.nu/wz05

Replies (9) Good night (1945) Bad night (541)
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(334): View more from Alabama

nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.

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(334): nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder. http://tfl.nu/fuyv

Replies (20) Good night (504) Bad night (5330) Order T-Shirt
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(202): View more from Washington, DC

God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.

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(202): God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now. http://tfl.nu/vtz7

Replies (20) Good night (2672) Bad night (1030) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.

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(847): i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1. http://tfl.nu/5eb0

Replies (46) Good night (1722) Bad night (5617)
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(905): View more from Toronto

I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"

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(905): I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me" http://tfl.nu/rxcz

Replies (15) Good night (818) Bad night (2274) Order T-Shirt
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(847): View more from Illinois

Farmville is her only friend.

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(847): Farmville is her only friend. http://tfl.nu/6s8i

Replies (55) Good night (779) Bad night (5591) Order T-Shirt
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(217): View more from Illinois

he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.

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(217): he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit. http://tfl.nu/3nc6

Replies (17) Good night (4482) Bad night (1350) Order T-Shirt
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(214): View more from Texas

Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"

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(214): Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid" http://tfl.nu/i4ng

Replies (12) Good night (5235) Bad night (880)
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(918): View more from Oklahoma

3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song

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(918): 3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song http://tfl.nu/o6l8

Replies (6) Good night (2456) Bad night (985) Order T-Shirt
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(910): View more from North Carolina

there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....

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(910): there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time.... http://tfl.nu/4vkt

Replies (7) Good night (2889) Bad night (1120) Order T-Shirt
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(817): View more from Texas

If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.

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(817): If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun. http://tfl.nu/31s3

Replies (8) Good night (1323) Bad night (1443) Order T-Shirt
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(713): View more from Texas

do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?

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(713): do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister? http://tfl.nu/m4fg

Replies (5) Good night (2010) Bad night (393) Order T-Shirt
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(614): View more from Ohio

We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg

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(614): We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg http://tfl.nu/vi48

Replies (3) Good night (1562) Bad night (375) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"

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(845): I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen" http://tfl.nu/33mk

Replies (6) Good night (1730) Bad night (302) Order T-Shirt
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(734): View more from Michigan

But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss

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(734): But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss http://tfl.nu/ju7w

Replies (1) Good night (414) Bad night (97) Order T-Shirt

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