Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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