We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Dicks are not precious.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize