i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Dignity is for republicans.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
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