I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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