he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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