I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
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I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
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being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
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