I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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