You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Randomize