I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
If that was your dad, he is hot
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize