Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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