Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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