I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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