Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
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