She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You were trust falling into bushes
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize