Don't you send me to vm
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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