trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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