Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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