Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
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