I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize