worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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