I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Someone signed my nipple.
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