we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
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Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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