Where did you get a picture of my penis
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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