We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
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