I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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