Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
I need moral support for this bender
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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