He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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