i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize