no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
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i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
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You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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